Your Guide to Anal Sex (first time butt sex guide)

Your first time having butt sex can be scary. Whether you’re giving anal for the first time or receiving anal for the first time, have no fear. 

After reading these first time anal tips, you’ll know why it’s so important to get butt sex RIGHT the first time, and how to make your first time ever having butt sex extremely pleasurable, whether you’re the giver or receiver.

The first time you have anal sex can be scary.

I’ll put your fears to rest right now. Butt sex doesn’t hurt. It’s not bad for you. And it’s not gross!

The anus is WAY cleaner than people give it credit for. 

So let’s dive into your ultimate guide to anal sex.

I’m going to break this into two different sections. 

First, I’m going to start with talking about the receiving partner on how to make butt sex feel REALLY good.

I’ll also talk to givers — or the person penetrating — about how to be amazing at butt sex so you give your partner — and yourself — a really good time.  

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How can you make anal sex as pleasurable as possible when RECEIVING anal sex for the first time

First time being on the receiving end of anal? Make it enjoyable by following these steps.

# 1: Develop a pleasurable relationship with your butt.

Start touching the anus pleasurably. Pleasure the anus during various sex acts. Or start experimenting with anal play during masturbation. Recognize it as a pleasurable extension of sexual activities.

#2: Focus on the breath.

Being relaxed is the most important part of trying anal for the first time.

Relaxation pro tip: focus on the exhale. Make sure you have nice, LONG, exhales. This sends signals to the parasympathetic nervous system that its okay to relax. 

#3: Anticipate pleasure.

If you anticipate pain, your body’s going to tense up and you WILL experience pain. But if you anticipate pleasure, your body is going to relax, you’re going to get into it. And you’re going to have a damn good time.

how to master foreplay before butt sex

#4: Communicate with the giver constantly. 

Telling them to stop, to slow down, to back up, to go deeper, to go shallower, to try moving and to use a different position to hold still, whatever you need during anal sex, do not hesitate to communicate and say so. You are the person in control.

couple holding hands in bed

How to give your partner the best anal sex of their lives

First time ever being on the giving end of anal sex? Make sure you’re great it at it by following the steps below.

#1: The mindset of the giver must be empathy.

Unless you know what butt sex feels like from personal experience, you don’t know what it really feels like to take it up the butt. 

I encourage you to try butt plugs, your fingers, maybe even pegging, and look — lots of straight guys love pegging. This will make you a much better butt sex partner and your partner will thank you for it.

#2: Include the anus during regular sexual play.

During regular sex when you’re just having oral sex or vaginal sex be sure to include the anus during sexual play. (With permission, of course.) So maybe this means lubing up a finger and gently playing around the anus.

The anus needs to be massaged, touched and licked before penetration. So be sure to read by blog on analingus, butt licking secrets and how to eat ass.

#3: Start slow and small.

Start with your fingers with lube. Start with small butt plugs and sex toys, always with a base.

And then slowly move up in size to the size of your penis. You don’t want to start big right away, okay? This is not a go big or go home scenario.

#4: Control your speed and depth.

Do not just start pounding. Go really, really slow. You don’t want to hurt your partner. The anus is not the vagina. This requires lots of communication.

So when in doubt, go slower, go shallower start really small, literally and figuratively.

#5. Touch them to turn them on.

Touch their back, their thighs, their buttocks, their hair, et cetera, whatever you can do to turn them on, and to make them all soupy and feeling GOOD.

Be sure to spend a long time in foreplay, make sure your partner is super relaxed, super aroused. Make sure that during anal sex, you continue to arouse them by touching them in ways that turn them on.

man grabbing a woman's butt in bed

What the giver and the receiver need to remember to have an enjoyable butt sex experience. 

#1: Lube, always lube. 

Remember that the anus does not self-lubricate like the vagina. So it’s going to be a really hard time if you do not lubricate it. I recommend using organic lubricant from Royal.

#2: Communicate and plan ahead. 

I want you to talk about boundaries. What you never want to happen, what you don’t want to happen, talk about what you want to happen, AKA your desires. Talk about your fears and concerns well in advance. And of course, ALWAYS be respectful of your partner’s boundaries so that they can trust you. 

#3: Have patience.

Your butt works on its own schedule. Sometimes it takes a lot of time for the anal sphincter to relax and open up enough for you to penetrate it. This is fine. Don’t push it.

#4: Don’t assume there’s going to be orgasm or ejaculation for either partner the first few times.

So get over the idea that anyone’s going to come. Don’t expect it to look anything like you see in porn.

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#5. And remember to set up aftercare in advance.

If you want to return to vaginal or oral sex after anal, be sure to wash up. If you’re done after butt sex and it’s cuddle time, then grab yourself wipes or a warm towel to make cleanup as easy as possible, until you can wash.

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