More and more straight men are trying out anal play and pegging – and for the most part, their female lovers are strapping on their dildos with enthusiasm.
That’s right – “pegging” is when a man receives a strap-on or dildo in an act of anal pleasure from his female partner in what some would call role reversal.
In other words, pegging is when a lady does her dude in the butt, typically while wearing a harness and a. strap-on dildo.
This, my friends, is pegging, as classically defined by Caitlin V.
If it’s something that interests you, I HIGHLY recommend giving pegging a try. Because look – this blog is here to give you the best sex life ever. I AM HERE to give you the best sex life ever. I work as a coach one-on-one to help my clients have the best sex life ever, and that requires openness to trying new things in your sexual practice.
I BEG of you to be open-minded about this. After all, so many men end up finding prostate stimulation enjoyable, and it’s a great way to experiment with power dynamics and experiment with sex toys and butt play.
Why Would a Man Be Interested in Pegging?
So why would a heterosexual male want to take a silicone or glass toy that is strapped to his female partner up his rear end?
As it turns out, there’s a number of reasons!
Pegging feels amazing on the prostate
It feels GOOD on the prostate! Your butt has nerve endings! Men are blessed with a special organ called the prostate. It feels really good to be stimulated and gives you BIGGER, BADDER, more INTENSE orgasms!
Imagine if there was a magic button that was tucked 2-3 inches inside your rectum that whenever you hit it, it released incredible sensations, extra fluids, made your ejaculate extra powerful, and shot cum EXTRA FAR!
Would that interest you?
Because that’s what stimulating the prostate does, and stimulating the prostate is just one of the MANY reasons it’s a good idea for your woman putting on a strap-on.
Pegging is novel and exciting
It’s taboo! It’s unique! If you’ve always been the penetrator with your woman, it might be a fun way to switch things up.
It’s outside of what is acknowledged as “normal”, and it offers you two an opportunity to experiment with vulnerability and penetration.
It gives the man an opportunity to be the receptive partner, who is often the giving partner, and it gives the woman a chance to become the giving partner, when she’s usually the one receiving.
Many men say it’s sexy to see his woman suddenly so dominant. Just saying. ;)
Pegging builds intimacy and open communication.
If someone asked me to receive part of them into my butt, and they’ve never had anything in their butt before EVER, I know that they don’t really know what it feels like.
It doesn’t mean they’re going to be bad at being the giving partner during anal sex, it just means that they can’t conceive what it feels like to have a penis enter your butt.
Trust me on this one – if you haven’t tried this already, having someone inside your butt is universally going to make you better at putting things in other people’s butts. (And entering her vagina, even.)
So if you’re thinking about this delicious sex act, think of it as a way to switch roles as a way to build intimacy and trust between you and your partner who is playing pegger.
How to Start a Pegging Relationship
The rules of pegging are very much the same as the rules for anal sex. Especially as being the receiving partner of anal sex, there are a few things I want you to keep in mind.
It’s not always a good time for anal sex.
Anal sex requires preparation.
If you can, eat clean for a couple days. Eat salads and fresh fruits and veggies. Stay away from greasy foods or dense, heavy meats. Enjoy a salad or a light lunch on the day you’re going to be pegged.
Of course, this is the ideal conditions. Sometimes detailed scheduling isn’t desired… sometimes we’re spontaneous – it’s one of the nice things about sex, it can be planned or spontaneous – but if you have the opportunity, eat clean beforehand.
Relax into the sexual act.
The anus is made up of two different sphincters on the outside of the anus. We can relax one of them by connecting with our bodies and taking nice deep breaths. Get your zen on, relax your anal sphincter.
But the other sphincter? We can’t just voluntarily relax this one. This one’s an involuntary muscle. (It’s good that our bodies have both because this is what prevents “accidents” from happening!)
But when it comes to receiving things in the anus, both sphincters have to relax. So how do you relax both sphincters?
Relax your throat!
There’s a sphincter in your throat just like the one in your anus. (Fun, right?) If your throat is tight, your butt will be tight. Loosen one to loosen the other.
And remember: never push anything into an anus that’s not ready to receive. This means you might need a. butt plug and a little bit of “production planning” so to speak. But what it DEFINITELY takes is…
Lots of lube!
The anus doesn’t lubricate itself. The mouth lubricates, vaginas lubricate, but the anus? Pretty damn dry.
Hit up the local sex shop and pick up some silicone-based lube.
You don’t need so much lubrication that it’s dripping everywhere, but you need enough lube to make things slippery, smooth, and enjoyable for the person on the receiving end.
Pro tip: a condom can help the dildo go in smoother.
Good communication!
All anal sex requires open communication between partners. Especially if the person who is DOING the pegging or wielding the strap-on, has never given anal penetration before. They might not know that there’s a certain angle they need to get just right – there’s a cadence, there’s a rhythm – and an appropriate amount of pressure to apply.
There is a right amount of push to give and pull to give, and you need to communicate clearly to your partner to make sure you both are doing these things in a way that gives you sexual pleasure.
Anal sex often takes several tries before you’re able to accomplish it smoothly. That’s okay! It’s not a one-and-done thing.
The more patience you have across sessions, the more pleasurable being pegged can be.
Bonus Tip: Keep a Towel Nearby!
It’s really nice to have a towel in case there’s any… unwanted material… that escapes the anus during orgasm. Instead of pretending it’s not going to happen or keeping your fingers crossed, just grab a towel.
A Personal Story About Pegging
I’m going to tell you about my first pegging relationship. This was back when I was in grad school, probably around the age of 23 or 24. My boyfriend at the time BEGGED me to put on a strap on. He REALLY wanted to try it, and I was game. I was like “Yes, absolutely, let’s peg you!”
So we picked out a dildo.
I thought he was being ambitious with the dildo size (remember, start small. You don’t have to start out with the monster cock! It’s best to start out smaller than what you think you can take.) But this guy picked out a super large dildo, and I suited up with a strap on.
I kept thinking, “I am so nervous for this guy! He’s not going to be able to take it!” While I was about to enter him I kept asking, “Are you okay? Are you okay?” And he’s like “Just go for it, I’m fine!” I achieve insertion, and he’s still fine! And then I keep going, and it’s STILL FINE, in fact, it’s easy!
He is having the best time, he has the most relaxed anus of any human being I’ve ever experienced before or since, he took it like a champ from the very first pump.
I left that experience thinking, “Maybe I can learn a thing or two about anal from this guy! How the hell did he become an anal-receiving master on the first try!” It’s not like he had a secret history of butt stuff – he was just very into it, very ready, very turned on by it, and it worked for him.
I loved that he loved it!
Experimenting for a Better Sex Life
To recap: pegging is something that normal people do! Gay men and straight men alike pegging. Men have prostates, it feels good, it builds intimacy and trust, it spices things up, and creates novelty in the bedroom.
If you’re going to do it, grab some lube, take your time, practice great communication, and don’t expect that it’s going to work perfectly the first time. Be patient with yourself and your partner.
I’ve helped thousands of men improve their sex lives with the Come When You Want method. Come When You Want is my step-by-step guide to lasting longer in bed, experiencing ejaculatory control, and developing unshakable confidence. It delivers many of the same tools I use in one on one coaching but in a video format you can access from your phone or computer. Check it out!
If you want more advice for a better sex life, be sure to read more blog posts, watch some YouTube videos, and be sure to sign up with one-on-one coaching, especially if you’re not sure how to handle an issue in the bedroom – whether it’s conquering premature ejaculation, curing erectile dysfunction, or rekindling intimacy and passion, I can help!
Sign up today for a free discovery call, so we can get started on the next chapter of your sex life.
