Ultimate basketball god Michael Jordan had a special technique he famously used to “sink the winning shot”. This very same technique can help YOU sink YOUR winning shot… in bed!
But first, I have to share a scary story. I once had a client who was addicted to porn. He used porn multiple times a day, EVERY day, throughout his late teens all the way through his late twenties.
I recommended to him, as part of curing his premature ejaculation, that he quit masturbating to porn. Well, on our next call, he promptly let me know that he had quit porn, but that when he went to masturbate, he couldn’t get hard! I encouraged him to be patient and keep trying. Weeks went by. He still couldn’t get hard. He would get the lube and go to masturbate, but when push came to shove, well… he still went limp.
The truth is, porn can be a cause of both erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation. Part of curing both of those is learning how to masturbate without porn.
Today I’m going to teach you not only how to masturbate without porn, but how to have the best masturbation of your LIFE without porn, AND to use wankin’ off to get harder and to last longer in bed.
If you’re saying to yourself, “That sounds too good to be true, Caitlin!” Well, I told you Michael Jordan was going to get involved, so SIT TIGHT. I’m going to share with you my BEST advice for how to leverage masturbation to achieve ejaculatory control and last as long as you want in bed.
Table of Contents
Why Is Giving Up Porn So Hard? (Omg so many puns.)
Porn is so visually stimulating that it can become difficult to get aroused without it.
There is a simple tool that I use to replace porn during masturbation, and it’s actually going to make you BETTER at partnered sex.
I’m going to show you EXACTLY how to use the power of your mind and the power of visualization in order to last longer in bed and overcome erectile dysfunction.
Plus, it’s going to make masturbation fun again! (Stay with me, I’ll explain more.)
The most important thing for you to know right now is that this system works for ALL MEN. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been watching porn your whole life, OR for men who find they don’t actually have a porn problem and just want to get better at sex.
How Masturbation and Porn Affects Premature Ejaculation and Erectile Dysfunction
In order to have better sex with a partner, you must first change how you have sex with yourself. The way you masturbate is the way you have sex with your partner. And since your partner isn’t Porn Hub, you’re going to have to change the way you relate to porn in order to change the way you relate to your girlfriend or wife or whoever it is you’re having sex with.
Here’s the other truth: human beings didn’t evolve with porn. Your ancestors were lucky if they got a glimpse of a topless woman from across the watering hole. And since porn is so deeply linked to our lizard brain and our “desire to pass on our seed” and make babies for the next generation, it’s very VERY deeply connected to our arousal.
If you grew up with porn, you know that sometimes that connection becomes hard-wired in your brain. This can lead to a dependence on porn in order to get aroused. You know you have a porn problem when, in order to get erect, you need the visual stimulus of porn.
Guys, this is not a permanent condition. This can be changed. Many men experience challenges when they quit porn, but it’s not impossible. I would like to save you from those unnecessary hardships. But first…
Get Clear on Why You Want to Get Better At Sex.
Do you want to please your girlfriend? Prevent your wife from cheating on you? Save your marriage? Or do you just want to become more confident so you can start dating again? There’s no wrong reason to get better at sex, but I want you to have it clearly in your mind and maybe write it down. I’m about to ask you to do some things that are going to challenge you, and I want you to remember your end goal at all times.
This is going to make it easier when you hit some inevitable bumps in the road.
Eliminate Porn Entirely (For Now!)
Just get rid of it! You don’t want to have a pass and go “maybe I’ll look at it sometimes” kind of relationship with porn. Get rid of it. Have an accountability buddy, set up a child protection lock on your browser – do whatever you gotta do! Make a commitment to yourself that porn is out while you’re working on this system!
Trust me – porn will still be there when you’re done going through this system to get hard, stay hard, and last longer in bed. It’s not going anywhere! For right now, make a commitment to yourself that you’re cutting porn out of your life… for now.
Otherwise, it’s too tempting.
For example, I can’t tell myself that I’m going to have SOME chocolate – because what does SOME chocolate even mean? Is that a bar of chocolate? A single bite? And what kind of chocolate are we talking about here? Are we talking about Milky Way Chocolate, or dark chocolate?
You know what? If I’m cutting chocolate out my life for a health reason, I just have to fucking cut it out of my life! Cold turkey! End of story!
Learn the Difference Between Fantasy and Visualization
Fantasy is imagination. Fantasy is when you’re touching yourself and thinking about the entire harem of sexy women and all of them are bent over doing crazy things and all of a sudden they get into a circle around you and there’s hundreds of hands just touching your body…
We all have that fantasy, right? No?
Or YOUR fantasy might be that you’re surrounded by seven hot women who are all oiled up, and you can just go down the row doing the nastiest stuff you’ve ever thought of.
That’s great! Fantasies are awesome. They have a role to play.
But unfortunately, fantasizing is not the path we want to take right now. For our purposes today, we want to VISUALIZE instead.
And this, my friends, is where Michael Jordan comes in.
Visualization: Thinking about something that’s actually real
When Michael Jordan was visualizing himself sinking the ball in the basket, he was imagining it from his first-person perspective. He was imagining his hands on the ball, the hoop in front of him, the crowd cheering. He imagined himself sending the ball to the basket, and making the goal.
This is the trick.
So instead of fantasizing about the sexual stuff you want to do, INSTEAD, you are going to visualize it actually happening.
So as you masturbate, visualize your current partner or your ex or the person you’re dating or having sex with. Visualize their REAL body as it really is, and visualize them having sex with YOU.
Your Handy Dandy Visualization Reality Checklist:
You should be visualizing a…
- Real woman
- With her real body
- Having sex with you
See in your mind’s eye this real woman in the real positions you have sex in. You imagine her moans. You imagine her skin. You imagine the things she will likely say and do – the smells, the touches, the tastes, and ALL the senses that come along with having sex.
You are essentially giving yourself a dress rehearsal. You’re imagining yourself having sex as long as you want with your partner. You did it in your brain – you did it in the dress rehearsal – which means you can do it in real life.
And now you can sink that free throw.
Men don’t have to needlessly suffer from premature ejaculation. In my course Come When You Want, I teach you exactly how to cure premature ejaculation by using a number of tools, including using masturbation to take longer and longer to reach orgasm. Check it out!
One of my favorite tips to supercharge visualization: imagine your partner reaching orgasm!
For a lot of men, their partner moaning and writhing and screaming during sex is VERY arousing. Oftentimes men “lose it” when she reaches orgasm, so I recommend that you masturbate while imagining her reaching orgasm and you feel yourself having control and not ejaculating before you are ready.
Finally, Don’t Give Up.
This is not a one-and-done process. This can take up to six months! Again, porn is very effective at getting into your brain and changing the way it’s wired, so you’re going to have to slowly rewire it yourself.
Think about how long you’ve been watching porn! Be gentle on yourself! If you’ve got 10 or 20 years of porn under your belt and you only give yourself two or three weeks to undo all that, you are NOT likely to see the results you’re looking for.
Give yourself a while. It may take months or even years. It’s perfectly okay. Each and every time you practice, you’re making progress.
What if You Slip Up and Go Back to Porn?
Forgive yourself! It’s not the end of the world! Beat your meat, but don’t beat yourself.
One more piece of advice for you: every time you do this, I want you to celebrate. I at least want you to give yourself a little fist bump, high five yourself… do whatever you gotta do to keep the celebration strong.
Celebrations are really important for making sure this process is as fun as possible! It’ll make you want to stick with it!
Why Celebrating Progress Works For Lasting Longer in Bed
I want to share with you a story about someone who is enrolled in my Come When You Want course.
He says, and I quote,
“Normally after jerking off while watching porn, I always felt a sense of shame. But from day 3 in Come When You Want, it was the opposite. I felt content having pleasured myself while proving my mental strength to last longer.”
I mean…. Come ON bruh!
If you feel sad or shameful after you masturbate to porn, this might be a way of putting the pleasure back in self-pleasure. At the same time, this will make you better at sex! It’s a WIN-WIN!
It’s a big-check-at-your-door-with-confetti-and-balloons win.
In summary, to have the hot sex you WANT to be having, try visualizing the hot sex you’ll actually be having! This is crucial if you’re going to actually get better at sex. That’s how you give your mind the opportunity to practice the ability to succeed—just as Michael Jordan practiced in his own mind sinking the ball in the basket, so can you use the power of visualization to get better at sex.
Naturally, if you want to be amazing at sex, it requires your control over when to ejaculate. If you want more of that, check out my course Come When You Want – which will help you to last longer in bed, have complete ejaculatory control, and to achieve ejaculatory control you never even thought possible.