Quick! Straight dudes! I have a quiz for you: On a scale of zero to six, how gay are you?
I know, I know, we’re all zero wink wink.
A hundred percent straight! Sure, sure.
But really, now that your girlfriend and bro friends and conservative parents are out of earshot…really…and I’m being serious…how open to homosexual or bisexual activity are you?
I’m going to guess, it might not be exactly zero. Not quite. And honestly, that’s awesome and a key to becoming an epic lover.
In this article, we are going to talk about the Kinsey Scale, a way researchers map sexual orientation on an individual level. It’s a vast, diverse spectrum, even for all those dudes who consider themselves uber macho straight.
I mean, uber macho straight dudes love homoeroticism. Just google ‘Turkish Oil Wrestling’ (if you haven’t already. Let’s face it, you probably have).
I’m going to give you a little history lesson of the Kinsey Scale and then show you how to find your place on it; because understanding the fullness and richness of your sexuality, even if it’s ultimately leans hetero, is key to being a great lover AND truly fulfilling your needs and wants as a sexual being.
Who developed the Kinsey Scale?
The Kinsey Scale was developed by Alfred Kinsey at Indiana University in the late 1940s.
Yes, it came out of a deeply conservative state.
Kinsey believed that both men and women were far more diverse in their sexual orientations than just “heterosexual” and “homosexual,” so he interviewed thousands of people and came up with a 6-point scale that reflected the diverse sexualities he was encountering.
Or, perhaps their sexuality isn’t on a binary scale of homosexual to heterosexual. There’s actually a whole multiverse of orientations out there.
It’s like Avengers: Infinity War except there are fewer straight dudes crying at the end of it.
How does the Kinsey Scale work?
While The Kinsey Scale may have some shortcomings in terms of today’s gender and sexuality conversation, it’s still a great place to start when examining and hopefully unlocking the true fullness of your sexuality.
According to the scale, “zero” is exclusively homosexual, “six” is exclusively heterosexual and 1-5 were different blends of the two. There is also an X for people who had no sexual desire.
While a zero to six scale might seem a bit simplistic, Kinsey himself acknowledged there were rich spectrums between each number, and that many individuals may not see themselves as, say, a 4 OR a 5, but rather somewhere in between.
An official Kinsey “test” does not exist, which is contrary to popular belief and many tests across the web. Where the original Kinsey research team assigned a number based on a person’s sexual history.
How can the Kinsey Scale impact my Sex Life?
All this is great, but WHY does it matter?
#1. A lack of understanding or a fear of judgment of your true sexual proclivities may be causing problems in the bedroom that you don’t even realize.
Not only could you be limiting yourself, but you could also be limiting your partner or not fully comprehending what it is SHE really wants.
And, just like old pizza, sex can get stale. If we’re not in a constant state of curiosity and consensual exploration, and if we don’t REALLY understand what we want, chances are the quality and frequency of the sex is going to go down without either of you understanding why.
#2. If you’re afraid of urges that aren’t strictly 100% heterosexual, you might be unwilling to try certain things.
Things like being touched in certain ways, or be fully vulnerable with your partner so she understands what you need.
For example, if you have a prostate, you are blessed with an erogenous mega-zone! Seriously, it’s like one of those big red game show buzzers that the contestants hit with two hands. Even outside your body, your anus alone is filled with nerve endings and it can be deeply stimulating to have it touched. But if you’ve been denying or your curiosity, you may never fully explore that part of your anatomy and deny yourself some amazing orgasms.
Another example is bringing more people into the bedroom. If I hadn’t grasped your attention before, I’m sure I have now!
Maybe your girlfriend isn’t a total 0 on the Kinsey scale either and would be more open to bringing in another woman than you think.
Or, maybe it turns out you’re a 1 or 2 on the Kinsey scale and are cooler with bringing in another guy into the bedroom, which could be her fantasy.
Or maybe you’re both really attracted to trans or nonbinary people, but a toxic fear of judgment (or toxic self-judgment?) is keeping you from expressing that attraction.
Maybe you’re closer to asexual and the pressure you’ve been putting on yourself to have sex is totally unncessary.
The bottom line is, you may not fully understand your sexuality, and that’s TOTALLY okay. It’s when we keep ourselves from having any curiosity about it, when we’re guided by shame or what our high school football coach would think, instead of being an explorative, positive mindset, that we start to see the joy and satisfaction disappear from the sex we’re having.
But when we embrace curiosity and understanding, we develop into more fully realized sexual beings and better lovers.
Other scales or tests
I cover 12 unique sexual orientations in my Sexual Orientations You Didn’t Know Existed video. So ,if you really want to go deep, check that out.
Also, more in-depth way of charting your sexuality is the Klein grid. This is a test you take to examine your sexuality through seven different lenses, one of which is who and what you fantasize about, which can be really interesting. It gives you results in both your past, present and future. I’ll link it below and you can try it out!
Another tool is the Sell Assessment test, which I’ll also link to, which gets into areas of intensity and extent of attraction, which gets us into areas of asexuality and gray sexuality.
Thank you, Mr. Kinsey
Okay, now that we’ve gone from Kinsey scale zeroes to sexual heroes, I wanna thank Alfred Kinsey for his research into horniness and thank you for watching. Please like, share, subscribe, and leave a comment about things you’ve done to better understand your own sexuality or ways you’ve explored that have been fun and upped the quality of sex you’re having.
And if you haven’t yet, go take the Kinsey test or the Klein test or the Sell Assessment! I promise you, you’ll learn something!