Sex toys are a fantastic way to add some color to your sex life, whether it’s solo or with a partner.
If you’re looking for ways to spice it up, a vibrator can go a long way. Incorporating a blindfold, dildo, or some bondage gear – if you’re feeling freaky – might be just the thing you need to take your partner, or yourself, over the edge.
Now, as a sex and intimacy coach, it’s no secret that I’m a fan of toys. We’re talking whips, paddles, ropes, anal plugs, all sorts of vibrating and rotating gadgets.
You’re probably familiar with the basics of what sex toys have to offer, and if you’re not, then hold on to your buttplugs because I’m about to rock your world with a list of sex toys that had even my jaw on the floor.
By the end of this article, you will be acquainted with some of the wildest sex toys on the market. So are you ready to be a toy aficionado? I think you have it in you.
I’m sex and relationship coach Caitlin V, and today I’m taking you on a wild ride of the 10 CRAZIEST SEX TOYS out there. Both for him and for her, some of these toys really have to be seen to believed.
So without further ado, here they are the 10 craziest sex toys that my team and I were able to find on Amazon.
The 10 craziest sex toys you need to try
Our sex lives should be fun and adventurous — like a sandbox for grown-ups. Check out these amazing toys below and write in the comments — which ones would you try?
1. Stability Ball and Dildo
That’s right, folks, it’s your classic exercise ball, but with a big old cock and handlebars sticking out of it. Is it just me, or does this thing kind of look like an elephant?
I wonder if it’s good for your back?
This right here is your own personal, triple x version of a bouncy castle and I am here for it!
2. GAGA Vibrator
Ever wanted to look deep into the depths of your partner’s vagina? Maybe you have one and are curious to see what all the fuss is about in there.
Well, now you can, with the GAGA VIBRATOR. This thing has a camera and lights on the tip and allows you to venture where only your gynaecologist has gone.
A Go Pro for your pussy, this thing streams live footage to your chosen device, and it could be a handy solution if you ever get a condom lost in there.
3. Squeal Oral Sex Stimulator
Sure, one tongue is nice, but have you tried 10?
This oral sex stimulator is a miniature ferris wheel of adult pleasure.
Ten silicone tongues spin at varying speeds, and you have the option to turn on a flicker setting which rocks the entire wheel back and forth.
4. The Orgasmatron
The Orgasmatron will not be saving the day in the next Michael Bay movie, but it does have a surprisingly useful purpose (other than getting you off)… it will do your laundry.
That’s right. Someone out there came up with and then ACTUALLY MADE a fully functioning washing machine with a leather saddle on it for YOUR pleasure, and to them, I say, I salute you.
This is certainly one way to bring the fun back into housework.
5. Rainbow Tailz Pony Tail Anal Plug
Yep, this is exactly what it sounds like. A rainbow ponytail you can stick up your butt.
That’s right, gentlemen, you can stimulate your G spot and live out your ‘My Little Pony’ fantasy at the same time.
You don’t have that fantasy? Well, somebody out there does, and this is the plug for them (wink wink, it’s me).
This silky smooth silicone plug is pretty sizeable and has a flared base, so you don’t need to worry about it slipping out if the urge to trot strikes.
Sending your crush an eggplant emoji just took on a whole new meaning with this fun line of sex toys.
Emojibarot creates sex toys shaped like some of your favourite emojis, and of course, the eggplant was the perfect place to start.
They also have pickle vibrators, banana vibrators, and even vibrators shaped like cupcakes and ice cream cones.
With these guys, you can bring food into the bedroom without getting sticky, and you can’t deny it; they’re pretty darn cute.
7. Thigh Dildo
You know those compression sleeves you wrap around your limbs after a sports injury?
Well turns out you can fuck someone with them.
This adjustable thigh harness is made with an opening specifically for dildos. So if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to have sex using your thigh, well, now you can find out!
Although you can get creative, the primary use is as a thigh strap-on is to wrap it around an object and use it for self-pleasure.
If you want to give this strange and wondrous sex toy a go, just beware that some versions don’t come with a dildo, although they claim to work with any sex toy with a flared base.
8: Satisfyer Pro Penguin
They say penguins mate for life, and this penguin-shaped vibrator may be the perfect match for your clit.
You know this thing means business because it’s wearing a bowtie. It provides undulating suction while it circles the clit with precision.
And of course, like most penguins, this thing does well in water.
9. Alpha One 24K Cock Ring
If your penis has expensive taste, then the ALPHA ONE 24K GOLD COCK RING may be right up your alley.
This thing is not cheap, but if you want to add some serious sparkle to your sex life, it might be worth looking into.
This is precision machined in the UK from a solid block of aircraft-grade aluminum and plated in pure 24K gold.
10: The VAJANKLE
Foot fetishists rejoice!
The VAJANKLE: a silicone foot that is completely anatomically correct except for one gaping irregularity. That is, there’s a fuckable vagina in it.
Depending on the model, the vaginal opening is either at the top of the ankle or on the sole of the foot – I’m not kidding you guys; this thing is for real.
So if foot jobs are what you’re into, you can really take it to the next level with this wacky sex toy.
And there you have it! My roundup of the 10 craziest (and possibly most fun) sex toys on the internet. If you didn’t know, well, now you know. And knowledge is power, and in this case: pleasure.
I think we’ve learned that no matter what your kink is, there truly is something out there for everyone on the world wide web.
So get googling and let your freak flag fly, my friends.