Sex Coach vs. Sex Therapist: Which One is Right For You?

sex coach versus sex therapist

There are things you’d like to improve about your horizontal tango. Or maybe there are actual problems that you and your partner are kind of sweeping under the rug … figuring they’ll iron themselves out eventually, right?

Either way, you have some improvements to make. 

Instead of ignoring it and letting it ruin your relationship, you need to know who to go to for expert advice. 

But who, exactly, should you call? The sex therapist down the street, or a sex coach who specializes in a specific issue? 

Is one better than the other? 

As a sex coach, I am not biased. I realize there are different reasons to see a sex coach versus a therapist, and I’ll dive into those differences today.

The Factors Involved in Whether to See a Sex Coach or Therapist

Sex therapy and sex coaching are two different things, so it’s important to know when you might call one and not the other. Knowing whether to go to a sex coach or sex therapist depends on:

  1. What issue you’re facing 
  2. How quickly you want it resolved 
  3. Whether there’s deep trauma involved 
  4. Whether you’re trying to fix a problem OR achieve a goal, or both. 
  5. How much of the past needs to be explored for things to improve

The Differences Between a Sex Coach and Sex Therapist

The Differences Between a Sex Coach and Sex Therapist

Sex Therapists Have Formal Training. Sex Coaches May Not.

A sex therapist went to graduate school and does continuing education.

A sex coach, on the other hand, may not have gone to formal school (full disclosure, I have a Masters in Public Health and Sexual Research), which is not the same as counseling.

There’s no board or regulating agency for coaches. So you never know who you’re getting or how qualified your coach is.

A Sex Therapist Follows the Laws of Their State, and a Sex Coach Doesn’t Follow Specific Methodologies.

A sex therapist has to operate by the boards of which they are authorized to practice. 

They may be forced to apply the same technique to every problem that shows up in their office.

This CAN be a positive, though, because they use established systems that do tend to work for specific problems, like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), which require special training and are evidence-based to work with specific challenges.

A sex coach, on the other hand, does NOT have to follow any specific playbook.

Many sex coaches do work with specific methodologies, but are allowed to tweak them to best fit a client’s needs and experience. Coaches can pull in empirically-based methods and techniques while also following what feels right for a specific client.

A Sex Therapist Focuses on What’s Wrong, and a Sex Coach Focuses on Goals For the Future.

A Sex Therapist Focuses on What's Wrong, and a Sex Coach Focuses on Goals For the Future.

Sex therapists tend to focus on what’s wrong and because of this, can make you feel like you’re broken. This reinforcement that something is WRONG may actually stunt growth and development. 

In the same vein, sex therapists focus on why you are the way you are, or why the problem exists. They focus on past events or attitudes that led you to this moment. 

A sex coach, on the other hand, focuses on the goals you want to accomplish in the future. We do a lot of educating, trying to fill in gaps in know-how and awareness, and we spend time inspiring you.

A Sex Therapist Can Help You Overcome Trauma, and Most Sex Coaches Cannot.

Many sex therapists are trauma-trained. Sex coaches, on the other hand, cannot help you with deep-seated traumas, and will likely point you to a therapist. 

Is a Sex Coach or Sex Therapist Right For You?

Let’s break it down. Which one can help you achieve a better sex life and help you reach your specific goals? That depends.

Do you want quick results and big wins in a shorter amount of time? 

Go with a sex coach. 

Sex coaches are faster, specialize in a single issue, and are more goal oriented. 

You can achieve most goals with most coaches in 90 days or less. A sex therapist is slower and might take up to few years for you to start seeing results. This is because therapists are trained to unpack your deepest psychology and work on multiple issues.

You want the cheapest option?

Go with a sex therapist. Sex therapists are cheaper and often taken insurance, but you might end up paying more in the long run because you spend more time in therapy.

Coaches are more expensive because they’re more effective at solving a single issue, and will get you in and out faster.

You have a single, focused issue you need help on?

Go to a sex coach. 

Sex coaches focus on a specific issue for a specialized need. For example, I spent years exclusively working with men who struggled with premature ejaculation. I would venture that no other coach has as much experience as I do with PE, I even put everything I learned into a masterclass called Come When You Want, which is 98% at helping men last longer in bed. 

Sex therapists, on the other hand, tend to be more generalized.

Do you need to heal from trauma? 

man healing from trauma

Go to a sex therapist. 

Once again, if you go to a coach hoping to heal trauma, they’ll kindly direct to toward a sex therapist who can help you. Many coaches are trauma-informed, some even have specific training in trauma-healing, and some are highly qualified to work with trauma, but I recommend for trauma that you go see a therapist.

Do you need to accomplish a goal or get better at something?

Go to a sex coach. 

Sex coaches know how to get you want you want, can help you accomplish goals and build a pleasurable sex life, make you an amazing lover, and give you the confidence you need to succeed in bed. 

Interested in Sex Coaching?

If sex coaching sounds like exactly what you need — whether you’re looking to overcome premature ejaculation in 90 days or less, become the best lover she’s ever had and become amazing at making women orgasm, or if you’re looking to overcome erectile dysfunction, you now know who to call. **Wink!**

Apply to sex coaching today so we can get you on your way to an amazing sex life.

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