While I was at the studio the other day I had the JUICIEST flashback to an MMF experience I once had. It was so good, I just had to share it with you: The Devil’s Threeway.

The Devil’s Threeway is truly an unfortunate name, because this might be the BEST kind of menage a trois that you can possibly enjoy.

I’m going to tell you exactly why it’s so fun and how to enjoy this very common sexual fantasy and sexual kink.

What is a Devil’s Threeway?

A devils threeway is a threeway that involves one woman and two men.

I don’t know where it got the name “Devil’s Threeway” except for the fact that there are a lot of common fears about two men having sex with the same person at the same time in the same room. We have so much homophobia in our culture that men are afraid to whip out their cock around other men.

Otherwise known as the MMF threesome, this scenario doesn’t require anyone to be gay or bisexual. It can exist within an open relationship, within monogamy, with a close friend, or with a stranger you just met on a dating site. Let’s get into it.

Why Should We Talk About the Devil’s Threeway?

First of all, this is a common fantasy! Most people that I speak to, myself included, have a fantasy about having intercourse with two people at the same time. It’s very common, and it’s pretty “normal” in the sense that it’s a common practice.

(And while I do hate the word “normal” when it comes to sex, this combination of people having sex together is pretty standard, common, and a lot of people do it and enjoy it.)

Furthermore, the devil’s threesome is easy to set up. I just can’t come up with any reasons not to discuss it!

What Principles Are at Play?

Behold — the essential truths to the MMF threesome.

It’s easier to find a man who is DTF (down to have sex) than a woman.

There are a whole bunch of reasons for this, I know I am painting with a broad stroke, but I don’t think I’m telling you anything you don’t already know. If I told you to go outside and find three people who are willing to have sex right now, I guarantee you it will be easier to find three heterosexual men to be your guest star than three heterosexual women.

In this combination of bodies, a woman has multiple places where she can receive two penises.

Our lucky female participant has a mouth, an anus, a vagina, she’s got two hands! There is a lot of opportunity there for double penetration.

Whereas in the other threesome – the one with two women and one man – he has only one penis, and ultimately, he can only be inserting into one partner at a time. Perhaps he can manually stimulate both women with his hands at the same time, but if not, one woman has to enjoy the other woman or play by herself.

The mechanics work out better in the male-male-female threeway than the other way around. There’s more penetration and pleasure to be had.

It’s not gay.

This is really important for you to know. Even if it WAS gay, there’s nothing wrong with being gay or enjoying a little bit of gay sex. It doesn’t make you gay, it doesn’t make you bi.

You can enjoy bodies. Pleasure feels good, and pleasure exists in bodies!

Now, I enjoy pleasure. I’m a bit of a hedonist. I believe that whatever feels good IS GOOD. That which feels authentically good to us – ethically, morally, delectable, delightful – is an indication that something is inherently good. I believe that bringing bodies together in a way that brings everyone pleasure is an inherently good thing.

Listen – we live in a world that is devoid of pleasure. There’s a whole lot of pain out there, but you can’t find nearly as much pleasure as in a devil’s threesome. You are a being that has incredible pleasure capacity. Take advantage of it! Enjoy it! Who freaking cares, go have a good time!

Those are the fundamentals at play when it. comes to a devils threeway. Now let’s get to the good stuff.

How Do We Make An MMF Threesome Happen?

All this talk about threesomes without the how-to guide of how to HAVE them can be incredibly frustrating! Let’s get into it.

If you are a couple, or even if you are two dude friends trying to bring in a woman (otherwise known as a unicorn), ask yourself, “is this relationship healthy?”

Is this relationship in a good, healthy place where we want to involve another person in it? Because if the answer is “no” or “not sure”, you cannot and should not bring another person into your sex life. You have to build a better relationship before you bring in a third person.

Having your first threesome is not going to fix your sex life. It’s not going to fix your relationship. It’s not going to fix your marriage. It’s not going to make your sex life better or make intimacy easier.

It’s not going to do ANYTHING other than make your bodies feel good, give you orgasms, and potentially complicate your relationship. If something doesn’t feel quite right – don’t do it. Wait for the right person and wait until your relationship is in a good and healthy place where it can handle the additional complexity.

Negotiate your boundaries.

There needs to be a negotiation and conversation here. Your boundaries are things you’re NOT cool with happening and alternatively the things you ARE cool with happening.

For example: say you’re a male/female couple and you’re bringing a male friend into the bedroom with you. She’s totally okay with you choking her as her boyfriend, but she’s not okay with any other dudes choking her. That’s a good example of a boundary. Stay in your comfort zone, here.

Another boundary: she only has anal sex with you alone. Or maybe the two guys decide they don’t want to touch. Or maybe the two men are okay with touching but they don’t want to touch penises. Or maybe they are okay with touching each other’s penises but are not okay with any oral sex happening between them. Or a million other combinations of things!

Talk about what you’re okay with and what you’re not okay with before heading into the threesome. If your female partner starts giving him a blowjob while you’re in the other room getting a glass of water, is that going to make you uncomfortable?

If so, that’s TOTALLY okay! Just say so in advance so that the other two people in the session don’t accidentally overstep a boundary.

Even if you do an amazing job of brainstorming all the possible combinations of things that might bring up feelings of jealousy or make you uncomfortable, it doesn’t mean that you’re not going to be surprised by a boundary you didn’t even know you had.

Especially if this is your first time having a threesome, leave space to discover boundaries and be cool with those popping up. Have a plan (and possibly a safe word) for the best way to deal with them if they do pop up, and how to vocalize when something makes you uncomfortable.

Negotiate Your Barriers.

As for barriers: how are you going to practice safer sex? How are you going to negotiate condoms? Is one guy going to use a condom for every sex act? Is he going to use it just for oral or vaginal sex or anal sex? Is he going to switch condoms regularly? Are both guys going to use condoms during penetrative sex?

These are things to be clear on beforehand. Once you’re IN the mmf threesome – once your brain starts doing that soupy arousal thing – that is not the time to make decisions.

Consent can be taken away, but if you said no when you were sober and yes when you’re in the sex act, it’s a NO GO! You don’t want to regret any of your decisions.

How are you going to handle aftercare?

What are you going to do after this delicious sex party?

Is the extra male partner going to stay over? Are the three of you going to sleep in the same bed? Are you going to part ways right afterward or the next morning?

Think about how you’re going to show affection right afterwards (and the next day) so you can make that time feel really good after performing this vulnerable threesome.

How to Find Someone to Join Your Devil’s Threesome

For starters, you can approach your best friends, acquaintances… you can let it be known that you’re interested in a little devil’s threeway and see who else is down.

Or you can go online and use an app such as Feeld or 3nder that has different combinations of couple-dom and “situationships” that you can search for.

For example, you can put in that you’re a female in a male/female relationship and that you’re looking for someone to join in on the threesome without any romance. You can and should be that specific. Its a great app for threesomes, fourways, or whatever kind of fun you’re looking for.

Get an idea of what kind of encounter you’re looking for and be patient. It might not work out with the first person that shows up, but I promise that if you wait for the right person to show up, then hell yes, there is SO much fun to be had.

Sex and Relationship Coaching for a Better Sex Life

If you’re not sure how to initiate a devil’s threeway with your partner, how to spice up your sex life, or if you’re struggling with premature ejaculation, than sign up for a free consultation today. I can help you improve your sex life, get clear on what you want between the sheets, and navigate your relationship with ease.

If you’re looking to gain unshakable confidence and improve your relationship with your body AND partner, Come When You Want is my step-by-step guide to lasting longer in bed, experiencing ejaculatory control, and developing unshakable confidence. It delivers many of the same tools I use in one on one coaching but in a video format you can access from your phone or computer. Check it out!