It doesn’t matter who you are, what you look like, or how much is in your bank account. As long as you understand what creates attraction, you can pull any woman into your orbit and make her fall hard for you.
But in order for a woman to fall for you, the conditions have to be right.
In other words… you have to KNOW how to make women want you.
What you’re about to read is probably not what you’re expecting, but it’s a surefire way to get women to fall for you, whether you’re trying to get your crush to notice you or reignite the spark with your wife of 20 years.
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One Crucial Fact About Attraction
You must understand one crucial fact: women do NOT fall hard for guys who are an endless pit of availability.
Instead, women are pulled toward men who do their own thing.
How to Make A Woman Attracted To You
The counterintuitive tip that works every time to draw a woman toward you is simply: having boundaries.
That’s right, you don’t need a six-pack or a fancy car or a rooftop patio with a skyline view. A healthy sense of boundaries is what women are really looking for in men.
What are boundaries?
In short, boundaries show what you will and will not allow in your relationship and how you want to be treated.
Think about boundaries like in sports. The edges of the court let you know what’s in or out of bounds. How do you know what’s fair play in a game unless there are boundaries in place?
And just like in sports, some offences are a warning:
- Some are a time out
- Some are game over, see you next time
- Some are we never play together again
For example, you have a boundary about being on time, and you want to be punctual for the reservation you made. And she’s running 15 minutes late. You gently warn her that this is an important boundary and that you’d like to be on time.
But let’s say she’s an hour late. You might say this date is cancelled, and you’ll try again next week.
Here’s another example: you’re out on a date with a woman and she tells the waitress to “F*ck off.” You might decide to never go out on a date with her again because respecting others is important to you.
You see, a lot of guys are so thirsty that they skip this step and just let women do whatever, whenever, without any sense of consequence or accountability. And this is a HUGE mistake. You might think you’re getting into her good graces by being a “yes” man and never having limits, but that’s not what she wants.
When you set boundaries you’re gently but firmly saying “here’s what I allow in my life and relationships, and here’s what I don’t”.
Why Boundaries Are Essential to Getting What You Want in Relationships
Boundaries help you avoid what you DON’T want in relationships. They help you attract high-value women who want a high-value man. They empower your relationships and help them work better, and finally, they help you discover what you want, and what works best for you.
After all, boundaries are a process of self-discovery. Sometimes you don’t know what’s out of bounds until a boundary gets crossed.
The 6 Categories of Boundaries
Also, it’s important to know that boundaries fall into several categories: Physical, Emotional, Mental, Energetic, and Time and Space. Here are some specific examples of each:
An Example of a Physical Boundary
“I don’t accept fingers up my anus on the first date.” or “I prefer we not make out when we’re out in public”
An Example of an Emotional Boundary
“I’m not available for emotional support when it comes to other guys you’re dating.”
An Example of a Mental Boundary
“I am not available to help you with your taxes.”
An Example of an Energetic Boundary
“I don’t put up with passive aggression… and won’t stand for you resenting me without addressing the issue, or making me responsible for your emotional state”
An Example of a Time and Space Boundary:
“Don’t show up unannounced to my workplace”
“Don’t show up drunk to my house at 3 am unless you’re horny and wanting to share your tacos.”
Why Women Prefer Men Who Have Healthy Boundaries
You wouldn’t think that women like boundaries like this, right?
Oh, but we do.
In fact, women THRIVE off boundaries. Setting boundaries makes you irresistible to us.
Because boundaries — standing up for what you need and want — actively increases your value as a man.
It lets her know that you defend your territory and defend what matters to you, which is incredibly sexy.
Boundaries are also the antidote to the friend zone. By putting boundaries on your time, your availability, and showing her what you will and will not allow, you are being the OPPOSITE of a welcome mat.
For example, maybe you show her that you’re NOT interested in going on endless dates with someone who won’t start a relationship. You’re not here just to have another female friend. BOOM. Friendzone vanquished.
Boundaries Provide More Freedom in a Relationship
Just like in sports, if you don’t know the boundary, you don’t really know how to play the game. If you never know when you’re about to step out of bounds, you have to play conservatively, but if you DO know the boundary, you can play all the way up to the line.
For example, you know that her boundary is “I like being smacked during sex, but not in the face”, you know you can smack ass, breasts, thighs and have more fun because you’re both clear on where the line is.
When Should You First Bring Up Boundaries?
You’re not going to tell her that you have a policy against licking ass when she’s about to bite into a taco…. but when her tongue is T-minus 2 seconds from contact isn’t the right time either.
If you have “unique” boundaries outside of the social contract (the unspoken, agreed-upon ones) then you should bring them up early, especially if they’re dealbreakers for you. Or if you have a boundary that repeatedly gets broken over and over again with the people you date, you want to make her aware of it before she accidentally crosses it.
For example, you could tell her, “Hey, just letting you know, I don’t text back right away… I try to get back to people within 24 hours, but I’m not a man who is on his phone all day.”
But for other, less unique boundaries, it’s okay to let them emerge naturally while you’re getting to know each other.
Do your best to remember that she’s not a mind-reader, and as far as I can tell neither are you, so treat this process with respect and humility and you’ll do great.
Becoming irresistibly attractive to a woman isn’t just about having great hair or a sports car or a million dollars. It’s about understanding what creates attraction and what makes you attractive.
And the truth about BEING attractive — and how to make women crave you — is to not always being available to jump as high as she wants.
The real secret is having BOUNDARIES AKA practicing the art of getting what you want, avoiding what you don’t want, and attracting a high-value woman who wants a high-value man.