I’ve worked with clients who feel guilt over “too much masturbation”. They ask me, “Do I masturbate too much?” Believe it or not, frequent masturbation can help you have a better sex life. Just like Goldilocks, there is a magic number of how much to wank each week, and today you and I are going to figure it out. Here’s the low-down.
A Natural Thing that Humans Do
Do You Believe the Masturbation Myths?
Health benefits of masturbation
When done right, being your own sexual partner can be both a useful tool toward a better sex life and a boon to your health. In case feeling amazing after masturbating isn’t enough, here are all the reasons why waking is good for our health:
- It releases sexual tension.
Walking around with sexual tension can be annoying. If you can’t stop thinking about sex, it might end up too distracting for you to enjoy going about your day.
- It’s a great way to get to sleep.
Masturbation is a stellar sleeping pill. It releases endorphins, lowers blood pressure, and causes relaxation. So if you find it hard to get to sleep at night, all you have to do is wank off and slip into sweet, sweet sleep.
- Masturbation can boost your immune system and fight off diseases.
Yes, really! Masturbation can briefly spike cortisol levels, which can help regulate immune function. Pop your vitamins and get busy… on your own terms.
- Masturbation boosts mood.
All those sensations feel amazing. Masturbation releases endorphins, which give you a boost of “happy” hormones that make you feel relaxed and happy. Thanks to that shot of dopamine, your body can even decrease the amount of pain felt in the body.
- Male masturbation is good for prostate health
According to studies, the more a man releases sperm through ejaculation, the higher his libido, and the more he’s staving off prostate cancer. Amazing, right? Now THAT’S the right mindset to have. ;)
- It relieves stress.
It’s a good thing. Think of it as a mini meditation sesh. When you’re masturbating, you’re focusing on one thing: how your body feels. This can help you relax, give you a sense of sexual pleasure, and contribute to our over-all sense of wellbeing.
There are so many reasons to masturbate.
And if you’re looking to last longer in bed, masturbation is the best way to achieve more duration between arousal and ejaculation. Practice during solo sex, and then bring what you’ve practiced to partnered intimacy! In that way, masturbation is a double-win because it feels good when you do it yourself, and it helps you last longer with a partner – so you can hold out to give your woman an orgasm.
What’s a “Normal” Amount to Masturbate? (is there such thing as too much masturbation?)
Many of you want to know if you’re “normal”. My clients ask, “Do I masturbate too much?”, “How often should I masturbate?”
The standard of “normal” is not easy to measure. And it’s certainly one that most of us do not live up to. In fact, the only “normal” about sex is that all of us are “abnormal”. When it comes to sex, go your own way! Be you, baby!
I want you to get over the idea that you’re either going to be normal or abnormal. Say it with me: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS NORMAL!
A lot of people masturbate more than once a day. Some masturbate more than once a week, and others don’t masturbate at all! It’s all fine. As long as it fits YOU and your preferences and goals.
There is not one frequency for masturbation that’s best for everyone.
When I think about how often someone should masturbate, I liken it to the gym. If you go too often, you might hurt yourself. But if you hit up the gym when it feels right for you, you’ll start seeing positive gains and differences in your performance. It’s all about finding that happy medium.
Let’s say you’re a 19-year-old male college student. You’re super horny and you want to have sex more often than sex is available to you. You might want to masturbate once or twice a day to decrease the sexual tension and so you can go about your life without being bombarded with sexual images all the time.
On the other side of the spectrum, let’s say you’re a 45-year-old man and you suffer from premature ejaculation and you want to cure that shit! You might want to masturbate about three times a week for at least 15 minutes. You might even want to spend one of those times masturbating without even reaching ejaculation UNLESS you’re planning on having partnered sex soon thereafter.
Compulsive Masturbation: Not So Healthy
There’s one important exception. Compulsive masturbation is when you masturbate for reasons that might not be so healthy.
If you’re dealing with excessive masturbation because you’re bored – for multiple hours per day – if you feel like you can’t stop, if it’s getting in the way of things you want to do with your life, like having a social life, going to your job, being with your family, than maybe you need to step back and change up some habits.
If you feel like you have a compulsive problem, I challenge you to go perform some Google research on addictive masturbation and plan to decrease the amount of time that you’re masturbating. This way, you can return masturbation to its rightful place as a way to express yourself sexually and not something that causes you to avoid your life.
One of my favorite words is “procrasturbate”, which is a combination of “procrastinate” and “masturbate”. I love it. I am also sometimes an active participant of “procrasturbation” sometimes. But if you find yourself doing that ALL THE TIME, to just numb out and avoid the realities of life, then it’s time to get back on an even keel.
Track Your Progress, Get the Most out of Enjoying your own body
One thing I highly recommend is to track your progress. Even if you’re not worried about masturbating too often but have some other goal (like overcoming premature ejaculation), track your progress!
Get a spreadsheet and write the date you masturbated, the time, and the variables.
Variables could include: had a full stomach, watched porn, didn’t watch porn, made out with girlfriend earlier in the day, had sex with partner earlier in the day – whatever variables might be important to you. Whatever it is, put some variables in there and then rate if it was pleasurable or if it wasn’t. The only way to know if you’re getting the most out of something – and benefiting from something – is to keep track.
I used to be a professional sex researcher. That’s right, sexual health researcher right here! I freaking love data, okay? I have not met a spreadsheet that I did not love.
Collecting data on your masturbation habits is a great idea. To you, it might sound silly at first, but trust me – it allows you to track your progress and see how often you’re actually masturbating.
You might think that you’re masturbating all the time, but it turns out you only wank when you’re avoiding homework. That’s useful data, my friends. I highly recommend you start a spreadsheet right now so you can track your data.
A No-Shame Zone
One last thought before we part: please do not feel shame about playing around with your erection. I know it’s easy for me to say and harder for you to do if you are feeling shame about it. But trust me, there’s nothing shameful about it! It’s normal! It’s regular! It’s healthy! It’s something your body is designed to do.
You deserve to feel good, and guess what – masturbation feels good.
Never feel ashamed for working out your sexual tension and feeling the pleasure your body is capable of experiencing. I mean, it’s a MIRACLE! Name one thing you can do with your body FOR FREE that feels this good. Look, I love stretching, I love yoga, but I’ll take masturbating over yoga any day, and you can tell yoga I said it!
I wish you very pleasurable self-pleasuring sessions. And if there’s anything you want to talk to a professional sex coach about, I’m here. I can help you last longer in bed, overcome premature ejaculation, and help you have a better sex life.
It just takes a couple of minutes to fill out the coaching application on my website to book a free discovery call. Happy masturbating!
The Come When You Want Method: Boost Confidence and Sexual Performance
I’ve helped thousands of men just like you overcome premature ejaculation and boost confidence in bed with the Come When You Want Method. Our success rate has been so high that I turned this method into an online course, so I can help more men. Come When You Want is my step-by-step guide to lasting longer in bed, experiencing ejaculatory control, and developing unshakable confidence. It delivers many of the same tools I use in one on one coaching but in a video format you can access from your phone or computer. Check it out!