This one’s for the ladies who need ample amounts of foreplay and stimulation in order to be enjoy vaginal penetration.
Because let’s face it — when your man busts off at the slightest whiff of a sexual encounter, it can be hard to get in all the sexual activity you need to revel in pleasure and orgasm.
If your man is a premature ejaculator, I have good news for you. Early ejaculation doesn’t have to be the nail in the coffin of your sexual relationship. In fact, there are things YOU can do to help him gain ejaculatory control and boost his sexual performance.
Do you want your man to last longer in bed, well ladies… There are several things you can do to get your man to last longer, and have a more enjoyable sexual experience!
That’s right! ** A LITTLE LOUDER FOR THE WOMEN IN THE BACK! **
Since you need some time in foreplay with your sexual partner, you’re always looking for ways to make your sexual experience, well… LONGER!
If you’ve seen my YouTube channel, you might be aware that I get a lot of comments asking me the best way women can get involved in helping their partner last longer during sexual intercourse.
Well, ladies, and gentlemen, read on. (and that’s right my dudes, this blog is for you as well. The tips within can help you increase partner satisfaction and achieve hot, spicy, great sex.) Let’s dive in.
When it comes to helping a premature ejaculator, us women have a lot to learn from … female rats!
Before we dive into the ‘Top 10 Ways Women Can Help their Man with Early Ejaculation’, I want to discuss this critically acclaimed book ‘What Do Women Want?: Adventures in the Science of Female Desire’ by journalist Daniel Bergner.
There is a lot to discuss about this book, but the take-away that I want to touch on is the recent study done on the behavior of female rats and helping Mister Rat control ejaculation.
In this book, Bergner discusses the … lovemaking … of female and male rats, and then ties those patterns to human women. Yeah, that’s right. Rats feel sexual pleasure and sensation too!
Story time: A female and a male rat are separated into two isolated boxes. Let’s call them Romeo and Juliet if you will – connected by a plexiglass window. When the rats are enjoying a night of wine and sexual intimacy, the female partner rat will stop in the middle of sexual arousal, take a lap and cool down, then return to the sex session. This happens a few times in the same sex session where the female rat will take a break, cool down, and return.
Moral of the story? The female rat has a clitoris and feels arousal during sexual stimulation. She (like most ladies) wants to have great sex for a longer amount of time, so she took these steps to do delay ejaculation!
And you can too!
10 Tips on how to get your man to last longer in bed
#1. Tell him what you want, what you really, really want.
What really feels good for you and gives you sexual satisfaction , beyond just thrusting penetration?
If you haven’t stated this explicitly he might think you’re into the deep hard thrusting common in porn. This is usually not the case, and he needs to hear from you directly what works best for you during the main event.
Now, this may be hard for you to do. Maybe you don’t know what you like during sex. And if that’s the case, you have some of your own work to do! Grab a good vibrator or pull in your man and key into the sensations that make you light up like a christmas tree.
Once you’ve made your list, it is time to communicate that to your partner. Everyone’s intimacy experience is different, so, find out what works best for you to reach sexual climax, what piques your sexual desire, and what leads to an all-around better sexual experience.
#2. Take breaks
Just like Romeo and Juliet the rats!
Now, many men are reluctant to take breaks during sex because they are afraid of losing their erection and then dealing with erectile dysfunction because of it. Be sure to tell him you don’t mind if he loses his erection because you’re sure he’ll get a second erection.
And trust me, the shaft usually rises again.
Give him that reassurance ladies! It will help him overcome any performance anxiety that contributes to PE.
#3. Encourage him to SLOW DOWN
Don’t go from foreplay to full penetration. Take. Yo. Time. Remember, you are in this for the long run!
A slow burn evens out the level of arousal so he doesn’t ejaculate too soon.
Take him inside of you – about half an itch – and then hold still. Let him get used to your feeling, and then, I want you to move a little deeper, while he focuses on breathing. This is time for you both to take a deep breath.
#4. Make sex more about breath than movement
Let’s all take a deep breath together! Remember to breathe deep, slow, and steady. I want you to breathe all the way down into your pelvic floor muscles, especially during intercourse. Side note: this will usually make sex feel better for you too and reach climax!
#5. Don’t be offended if he needs to take his focus off you
Listen, ladies. This is important.
If you’re someone who likes him to be fully concentrating on you at all times, you need to realize that he could be putting that focus on something else. All men experience PE differently. Please do not get offended if he needs to focus on breathing, to shut his eyes, to not speak or do anything else that increases stimuli.
Many psychological factors contribute to him being able to last a long time and avoid overstimulation.
Men: If you shift your focus onto your breathing, for example, you are more likely to have her reach orgasm. Pace yourself!
#6. Don’t shame him if he fails
Shame is not a great sexual technique, ladies. You need to remember to encourage him to keep trying. If at first you fail, try and try again! Shaming him will only contribute to worse sexual performance anxiety in the future and make his ejaculatory issue worse. Be encouraging. It’s sexy.
#7. Encourage him to practice without you
Practice makes perfect! When you are out, at work, cooking, showering – basically when you are busy, encourage him to masturbate – practice on his own. He should be taking 30 minutes per day working on lasting longer (especially if he’s in my CWYW class for premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction problems). Masturbation is a key practice tool in getting better at lengthening that point of no return.
#8 Know what pleases you
Here’s a secret for you gals: Don’t make him responsible for your pleasure. You need to make sure that you can seduce and pleasure yourself so that he is not responsible for YOUR sexual satisfaction.
This might fly in the face of what you’ve been taught, but this is crucial for taking the pressure off of him so he can gain ejaculatory control.
#9. Remind him to focus on pleasure, not on orgasm
Make pleasure the goal, not orgasm, not penetration, not simultaneous orgasm.
Even though these things are delicious, if you look for pleasure you can always find it.
Sometimes it looks like massages with coconut oil, sometimes it looks like a good spanking followed by oral sex, and sometimes it looks like a quickie without pressure to last. Sometimes just having PERMISSION not to succeed makes all the difference.
#10. Remember he’s doing this for you
And last but not least… You need to remember he’s doing this for you! And that he wants to get better at sex for you!
Can Women Help Men Last Longer in Bed?
YES YES YES! Follow these steps and you will see a difference in your sex life and how long he is lasting in bed.
Now, I want to know..What is your, funniest, sexiest, best experience you have had with a woman that has made you NOT LAST LONG in the bedroom? I know, us female species are sexy as hell, and sometimes it causes you to ejaculate too soon. Tell me your stories in the comments below!