The first time I ever went down on a woman, I stared her right in the pussy and thought, “Oh my God, where do I even begin?” I felt like the dude that cracks the safe open in a heist movie.
It was like everything had come down to this big moment and there I was — nine seconds left – the bomb about to explode – the whole team counting on me.
And I’ve practiced this at home, I’ve visualized it in my mind.
I THOUGHT I knew exactly what I was going to do. But as soon as I was between her legs, all the training went out the window and I ended up making the NUMBER ONE MISTAKE that ALL pussy eaters, experienced and novice alike, make.
We’ll get to that in a minute.
I am sex and relationship coach Caitlin V, and I am a long-time bisexual woman. (Actually, I’m pansexual, but we don’t need to get into specifics here.)
The moral of the story is that I have been on both sides of a lot of pussy-licking in my day, which is why I’ve put together my TOP techniques for eating her out.
I’m going to walk you through the most common mistakes men make and exactly what you need to do to get better.
(And for those dudes out there who think they’re champs already, keep reading. There’s probably something in this blog article that will enlighten you and make you EVEN BETTER.)
Table of Contents
The Secret Sex Organ Nobody Talks About
Literally no one talks about this one sex organ that is SUPER vital for being great at licking vulva. Right after reading this blog post, go watch my video on the 3 oral sex tips she wants you to know to make her orgasm every time. Because if you do, you’re going to be the KING of cunnilingus.
The most important part of eating pussy
If there’s one thing you’re going to take away from this blog article, LET IT BE THIS:
The most important part of eating a woman out isn’t skill or knowing exactly what to do with your tongue.
The most important part is ENTHUSIASM.
NOTHING is hotter for a woman than someone who is STOKED about the opportunity to lick your vulva. You love it. Everyone loves it.
I’m assuming you love it when a woman goes down on you with enthusiasm, like she is licking her favorite Popsicle of all time and just giving this Popsicle all the love that it deserves.
If you can eat pussy like you are eating your number one top most favorite sweet treat in the whole world and it’s going to be like the slowest, most decadent dessert you’ve ever had, you’re not going to wolf it down cause it’s too good.
You have to savor it.
Screw every technique that I can ever share with you. If you bring enthusiasm to the game, you are going to be her VIP 4 LYF. She’ll get that shit tattooed on her thigh so that you can remember it every single time you go down there because that is what makes a pussy eating CHAMPION.
The three magic words to say before you go down on her
We discussed enthusiasm, but there’s one other essential thing you HAVE to bring into your pussy-eating game.
And that, my friends, is patience.
When you eat her out, plan on getting comfy because you’re going to be eating pussy for a long time. And you’re also going to say the three magic words outlined in THIS blog article I wrote a couple weeks ago. (You can consider this the trilogy of pussy-eating blog articles.)
Now, whether you’re ACTUALLY down there for a long time, doesn’t matter. It’s all about your attitude – about the INTENTION you bring into it.
If you can hold the intention of being ENTHUSIASTIC and PATIENT, than you can put that on your frickin business card, gentlemen.
How to Overcome the Number One Challenge Among Pussy Eaters
The number ONE challenge among pussy-eaters and pussy owners alike?
That musky scent.
Now, most pussies smell great. I personally do not care about a little earthy fragrance, but many people are concerned about this.
That’s why I’m going to teach you a secret technique my friend Sugar introduced me to.
After you’ve displayed your enthusiasm and spoken the three magic words, you’re ready to make your way downtown.
Presumably at this point, there’s already been some action. You’ve made out. Maybe some necking, maybe some heavy petting. You’re making your way down, kissing along her breasts, her belly, and all the way down.
Here’s the secret: this is when you can catch a little whiff. Take some deep breaths down there before you commit your tongue to vulva.
This is what I call “the scent test.”
If the scent is “off”, don’t worry! Don’t bring it up or shame her about it. This could just indicate that she wore those cute little panties that don’t breathe and then sat in a polyester chair all day and then went to the gym and now your face is in her crotch.
So instead of saying anything, this is your time to offer to take a shower together, freshen up… chances are, she’s even MORE freaked out about the smell of her pussy than you are.
Your other option? You can just get over it and give her a rollicking good time. The choice is yours.
8 Tips to Becoming Amazing at Eating Her Out
A woman ALWAYS remembers the man who was best at going down on her. Here are eight tips to becoming the GOD of cunnilingus.
Tease to please.
Don’t just jump into the clit! Tease it a little bit, flirt with it a little bit, make some eye contact and then look away and then pretend to be talking to your friends and then send it over a drink and then ask for its number. Okay? Okay. Okay.
The secret to getting a woman off is equally about what you DON’T do, as much as it’s about what you ARE doing.
Location, location, location.
Pussy licking is a bit like horseshoes and hand grenades, in the sense that closeness counts. In order to win this game, you have got to make moves all over the board. In order to score the most points, you have got to play the entire field.
The moral of the story: there’s a whole lot of anatomy down there and it is your job to stimulate all of it.
The clit is the center of the galaxy, but think about it as the sun and all the other things about it are all of the planets. You know what rocks? Jupiter rocks and you should visit Jupiter on your way to the sun and then go back and forth a little bit between the sun and Jupiter and stop by Saturn and maybe checkout Uranus. ;)
Pick a direction with your tongue and stick with it.
It’s about rhythm, you guys.
She needs rhythm and consistency so she can get into the groove of feeling good. Play around with different directions for your tongue and STICK to the one she likes the most. More on this in a minute.
Start slowly and then pick up the pace.
This is where a lot of people go wrong.
You might be really excited to have access to her vagina at ALL that you dive in and go fast from the get go. But what many men don’t realize is that going down on a woman is A LONG GAME.
It’s a marathon, not a sprint.
When you are a TRUE master of cunnilingus, you can play around with speed and tease her and go slower and edge. In short: pick up speed as you go.
Start with less pressure and then build up to more pressure.
If you put too much pressure too early on, you run the risk of her clitoris retreating, retracting, running up away and hiding from your tongue, which is the opposite of what we are going for.
There are more than one!
It seems to be a favorite to have a woman lying on her back with her knees spread apart during oral sex. But think about all the possibilities!
You can do gown on her when she’s riding your face. You can bend her over doggy style. Play around with these positions. Each position will give you an opportunity to create the most pleasurable experience possible.
Think beyond the tongue.
Your tongue is great. It’s capable, strong, and wonderful. But don’t forget about your other tools!
You have lips, a nose, a chin, and two hands you can use. Put them to work.
Think of it like this: your lips and tongue are different textures. They are different strengths. They can create different shapes. Not just that, but these guys are actually your best tool.( I almost said best weapon, but I guess it goes along with the heist analogy.) These guys are your best weapon when it comes to pleasing a woman.
My personal favorite, (but check with the woman that you’re going down on first), is to take two fingers, put them inside of her vagina, make a come here motion and pleasure her G-spot as you lick her clitoris.
The G-spot and the clitoris are essentially two sides of the same coin. They are positioned opposite each other on the inside and outside of her body. Having them both stimulated at the same time feels REALLY good for a lot of women.
But remember: some women don’t like to be penetrated while there’s pussy licking going on and that’s great too. You can use your hands to touch the inside of her thighs, to touch the outside of her anus, maybe to reach a hand up and start playing with her breasts or whatever else she’s into and gets you both off.
Edge when she’s close to orgasm.
When she’s nearing orgasm, first maintain your rhythm. You found out the pressure and direction that works for her, and you STEADY that rhythm until she goes over the edge.
But speaking of the edge, there’s a fun game you can play. Called Edging.
Edging is when you get her close to orgasm and then you back off and deny her that orgasm, only to build her up again and give her an even bigger orgasm when the time is right.
Striking a balance between consistency and surprise
Every so often switch it up, change the rhythm, change the position, change something that you’re doing with your hands.
Otherwise, you run the risk of putting her in a sort of a pleasurable meditative state, but that’s not moving her closer to orgasm.
Women need novelty (as do men) to keep our heads in the game.
How to get better at eating her out
No matter how good you are at going down on your woman, there’s always room for improvement. Here’s what you need to know.
Ask the right questions.
Don’t just ask “How do you like it? Or “Is that good?” While these are perfectly fine questions, either/or questions that are SPECIFIC to what you’re doing will be WAY easier for her to answer.
For example, “Do you want harder or softer?” “Do you want slower or faster?” “Do you want this direction or this direction?” Using these questions will help her to stay in her pleasure and in her body and not get her back into her thinking brain trying to answer a specific question or give you specific feedback.
Pay attention to her verbal and nonverbal cues.
What noises is she making? Is she moaning? Is she squeezing? Can you feel her hips moving towards you or pulling away from you. Is she heavy breathing? All of these are great indications that something is feeling really, really good for her. So make a mental note of what you’re doing at the time and then go back, repeat it, play around with it. Maybe ask her some questions to make sure that it is finessed, but if she is saying to you, don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t stop. For God’s sake, just don’t stop!
Read my blog article about the NUMBER ONE SKILL you need in order to be a great lover.
Check it out here, fam. You’ll learn how to run a test on somebody so you can get better at pleasuring them. (Without them even knowing it!)
Know what to do when your tongue or neck gets tired.
Switch to using your hands, fingers, or just take a break. Try different head positions. (Your head can rest on the inside of her thigh or she can sit in a different position.)
Know that the tongue is a muscle just like any other, and it gets stronger over time with practice.
The Top Mistakes Men Make When They Go Down On A Woman
Have you made any of these common and classic cunnilingus mistakes?
Men get too rough.
NO BITING! Chill on the sucking! A little bit of pull is nice, but nobody wants your teeth down there.
Please, especially if this is a woman that you’ve never been with before, do not introduce teeth, just the same way you would not want teeth introduced to your penis during a blowjob.
The same is true with suction. Now suction can be a good thing. Suction can feel very good. It can help blood to engorge the clitoris and can increase sensation, but too much suction is not a pleasurable experience.
Men shouldn’t use their tongue like it’s a sword.
This is the first mistake I made when I went down on a woman.
No shame! It’s okay! Just …. It doesn’t feel good.
Making your tongue into a point and then pointing at the clit and then moving it around furiously…. just doesn’t feel good.
You know what DOES feel good?
Use a flat, wide tongue, at least at the beginning. It is WAY more pleasurable. Remember: the clitoris is very, very sensitive. Coming at it with that sort of laser precision right off the bat is a sure way to make it hide runaway and make it harder for her to reach orgasm.
Go Down On Her Correctly So She Comes Too
Now you are king of cunnilingus! Titan of the tongue! Master of… I don’t even know, but you get the point.
Now, go check out my pussy-eating masterclass, She Comes Too, if you want to take this all the way and learn all of the other amazing things that I teach there on seduction, penetration, aftercare, foreplay, all that good stuff. May your tongues leave a trail of quivering women in their wake. ;)