If you haven’t noticed, the whole world is self-quarantined or social-distancing right now (including me) and there’s all sorts of news stories (like this one from the New Yorker, this one, about the spiked divorce rate in China after quarantine, and this one about LA couples dishing on their quarantine dramas) about spouses getting on each other’s nerves and getting into huuuuuuge fights.
Even if you have a wonderful relationship, you’re usually not spending 24 hours a day together under super high-stress circumstances. This situation will bring out the worst in ANYONE.
It’s destined to bring up some conflict in all relationships.
So I thought it would be fun to share some ideas on how to avoid fights and actually get closer to your spouse during this time.
First, a quick disclaimer. If anything here contradicts advice from the CDC or your government’s health authority, please defer to them! This information is for entertainment purposes only!
Here’s the sexy quarantine count down!
10. Be gentle and patient with yourself and your spouse.
Be willing to cut your partner a little bit of extra slack for their behavior and attitude, because hey – we are all going through something kind of stressful right now.
9. Balance spending time together with spending time apart.
Balance being a couple with being individuals. Do a handful of things on your own every single day.
8. Get better at stuff! Hone your skills!
Why not use this downtime to practice serenading each other at guitar? Or maybe sketching each other naked? ;)
7. Tackle house projects.
Getting something done helps you feel accomplished and helps passes time. Plus, your house will look amazing when you’re finally allowed to have people over again.
6. Stay physically active!
Search youtube for free workout from home videos that don’t require any equipment. Maybe team up and do a couple’s workout where you can support each other.
Breaking a sweat is good for your immune system! And you know what else is good for your immune system? SEX!
5. Have more sex!
Go to TOWN on each other! Now is your chance! Make foreplay last for hours! Take turns giving each other sensual massages! Pop the bottles! Use the rest of the coconut oil. Break out the candles! In other words, smoke ‘em if you got ‘em.
4. Relive warm memories
Go through your wedding album, tell each other funny stories from when you first started dating, relive some of the sexiest sexy times you’ve shared.
3. Stay connected with your other loved ones.
Use this time to reconnect with people you haven’t spoken to in a while! This can help you keep a level head, take some of the pressure off of your intimate relationship, and remind you that you’re not alone.
2. Don’t forget to breathe.
Seriously. If you feel a well of emotions like frustration, fear, anxiety, or anger, and you feel like you’re about to pop, or if being cooped up starts to grind on you, take some deep breaths. These breaths should go all the way down, deep into your belly, for three to five minutes.
Then, come back to the situation. I promise you, once you’ve engaged the belly in some slow breaths, and turned off the fight or flight nervous system.
I know it’s common advice, but it’s common for a reason! It works!
1. Document yourselves!
Start a video blog or start journaling. Or maybe even write letters to each other. It will give you something to come back to AND help you to process what’s going on in real time.
Bonus idea: Turn everything into a game.
Gamify quarantine! Assign yourself a point for everything you accomplish in quarantine. Challenge each other to be the first one to get to 100 points, or just challenge yourself to reach 100 points by the time quarantine is over.
Bringing some fun and light heartedness into an otherwise challenging situation is a great way to engage your higher thinking brain and avoid fearing fearful while facing uncertainty.
Share in the comments – how are you surviving quarantine? What’s working the best for you two? In the meantime, I hope your family is healthy, well, and that you have each other.
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