How do you know if a woman has sexual interest in you? Does she let you know? Does she initiate sex? Is she touchy feely? Is there still a healthy dose of sexual tension? Does she worship at the altar of your divine masculinity? If not, you might have lost attraction.
And no, this isn’t about your beer belly or how long you’ve been dating. This is about polarity, the little thing that makes magnets click into place. And if you’ve lost your magnetism, you could lose the whole relationship next.
As a sex coach and relationship expert, I’m here to show you the three things women tend to do when they’re sexually attracted to you — so you’ll be able to tell whether a woman is romantically interested in you, whether you just met her, or you’ve been married to her for 20 years.
I’ll also show you the five ways to tell if your relationship has lost polarity and the four ways to restore sexual attraction.
Table of Contents
But First, What is Polarity?
Polarity is the spark that occurs between two opposing energies, in this case, masculine and feminine. But if you don’t like those terms, you can switch them out for yin and yang, sun and moon, north and south, hot and cold. This applies equally to same-sex couples as it does to men and women. Gender does not affect whether or not you have masculine and feminine energy.
Relationship polarity is the key to passion. We all know that love in a romantic relationship, while it is great, it is not enough. A relationship cannot survive on love alone.
That’s when polarity is essential: it’s what keeps the passion in a relationship.
The quickest way to tell that your relationship has depolarized is by your woman’s attraction to you because women do three really specific things when they are highly attracted to their man.
3 Things Your Woman Does When She’s Highly Attracted To You
If you’re paying attention, you’ll pick up on the cues — the signs a girl likes you. Here are the 3 signs a woman is sexually attracted to you.
1. She makes herself available to you
She initiates text messages. She asks you if you’re free to hang out. She wants closeness from you, and she wants your sex. She may initiate sex. She may initiate flirting. Whatever it is, she makes herself available to you.
She is here with you when she is attracted to you.
2. She mirrors you
Mirroring is a really specific concept that I’ll break down. It’s essentially doing the same thing as the other person, so literally your body language.
She might check out the music that you’re listening to, the books that you’re reading. She’s interested in the things that you share with her. This is a great sign a woman likes you.
When a woman is attracted to you, there’s a good chance her nervous system will even sync and align with yours.
3. They share vulnerably
She will be forthcoming. She trusts you with her secrets. She wants to tell you more about her and her internal world and her internal thinking. And not just that, but she becomes a safe space for you to share those things too.
So she asks you questions about yourself. She is interested in knowing the depth of you and the depth of your soul. And this one is super tricky because a lot of couples who have been together for an extended period of time thinking, “I know everything about her. I already know what she’s into and when she’s not. I know what her deepest fears are. What else is there to be vulnerable about?”
The truth is, our fears and vulnerabilities evolve over time. And so, if you’ve stopped sharing, it could be a sign that that attraction is lost. And again, this is also being vulnerable with her body, sharing physically, sexually, intimately.
5 Indications that Polarity is Gone or Going Out in your Relationship
We’ve covered how to tell a woman likes you, but how can you tell if she’s fallen OUT of love with you?
1. You act more like buds than romantic partners
Date night has disappeared. You spend more time discussing what movies you’re going to watch on Netflix than you do about the hot sex you’re having. There’s nothing wrong with a companionate relationship that feels comfortable. But if that’s not what you have agreed to be in together, then your budding friendship is an indication that your polarity may be draining.
2. You’re more like roommates than lovers
You’ve stopped trying to pleasure each other. You’ve stopped trying to attract and seduce each other. You talk about the grocery list, and you crawl into bed each night at the same time after doing the same thing. Your roommate relationship has grown into a stagnant, repetitive, not-so-magnetic connection.
3. Sex is boring, stale, and repetitive
And it’s not just because you’re not sure what to do, it’s because the two of you have fallen into this very comfortable routine and no one is introducing new and interesting elements into the relationship anymore.
4. Communication becomes transactional
You only talk logistics. Who’s going to pick up the kids from soccer? Who’s finalizing the Instacart order? Your conversations doesn’t involve flirtation. They involve learning or challenging more, getting into the deep stuff with each other. It’s just logistics. It’s almost like talking to your colleague instead of your lover.
5. You’re no longer trying to attract each other
Do you still want to feel attractive? Do you stay physically active? Do you still think about how you look? Sometimes in long-term relationships, we take sex for granted, like sex is guaranteed.
Ideally, we always want to be sexually exciting, to seduce our partner and not just take their sexual availability for granted.
How to Regain Polarity in your Relationship
If the points above sound a little too familiar to you, it’s possible you’ve lost polarity — and sexual attraction — in your relationship. Here’s how to get it back.
1. Spend time away from each other.
This can be hard. Our lives are set up in an interconnected way. We rely on each other. In fact, maybe we’ve spent the last 15 years deepening our connection, our reliance, and our dependency on one another.
Spending time away can be really challenging. But this can be as simple as going to bed at different times or taking a weekend away without your partner to see your family or friends.
Why is this important? Because polarity is based in the space — and difference — between two people. So when we spend time apart, we have the opportunity to get excited to come back together.
2. Seduce each other
Be someone you would want to have sex with, and then bring that sexy self into the bed with your partner. Please and pleasure them. Try new things. Put in the effort to spice things up.
As a sex and relationship coach, I’ve helped thousands of couples bring the spark back into the bedroom. Check out my YouTube channel for resources on creating a better sex life, along with my course She Comes Too — so you can BLOW HER MIND in bed. This female pleasure and orgasm blueprint has everything you need to know to give her mind-blowing orgasms and pleasure.
3. Spend time doing what you love
This makes you attractive. Do what lights you up — away from your partner — so they can see you shine in your zone of genius. After all, this is sexy.
Maybe you’re into model airplanes or you love leading your son’s Boy Scout Troop or you just really get off on gardening. Spend time doing those things. Do not let the things that you love become lowered in importance or priority because of your relationship.
Because look — when you do what you love, your partner might walk by the wood shop and see how sexy you are when you’re in the zone. That’s partly what attracted her to you to begin with: what makes you different and interesting.
4. Become a High Performance Male.
If you’re not sure where to begin when it comes to improving yourself, putting the spark back in your relationship, and becoming the best man you can be — both in the bedroom and boardroom — than check out my program High Performance Male.
In this program, you’ll learn what makes a man attractive, what makes relationships successful, what boosts a woman’s libido, and how to become amazing in all areas of your life — your relationships, your sex life, your work, and your relationship to yourself.