You have a hot date tonight and you want to last longer in bed. I’ve got you covered, my friend. While you cannot cure premature ejaculation in a single day, you can absolutely build stamina AND confidence, which is exactly what you need to last longer in bed tonight.
If you’re reading this, you’re not alone. Premature ejaculation affects three out of every ten men. That’s 30%. Some statistics say it’s even more – more like 5 out of 10. One half of all men sometimes experience premature ejaculation.
You are in good company. Most men out there have experienced this.
Here’s the truth: as a sex and relationship coach, I work almost exclusively with men who have premature ejaculation, and you CAN cure it pretty quickly. Usually my clients only work with me for 90 days. Often, we are successful in curing PE around the 60-day mark.
That said, it’s not going to take you 60 days to build some stamina. If you’re someone who is reaching orgasm in under 5 minutes today, you might be able to boost you time to 7, 8, or 9 minutes by tomorrow if you follow these three tips.
What to do TODAY to last longer in bed TONIGHT
1. Masturbate today.
Ever since Something About Mary came out, this is a pretty well-known tip. But why does it work? Without diving deep into the science here, fluids build up in your body that put pressure on you to ejaculate.
So if you clear out those fluids today by ejaculating, than tonight, your body will put less pressure on you to come right away.
Here’s the caveat: it’s not enough to just masturbate for a couple minutes. You need to masturbate for ten to fifteen minutes. If that’s really challenging for you, you can get started, take your hands off, and then get back to it later. But do NOT let yourself ejaculate quickly, because if you ejaculate quickly, you’ll be reinforcing that system that wants to go from zero to ejaculation in nothing flat.
2. Get into your parasympathetic nervous system when sex is about to commence.
This is the most important tip. This tip is all about getting out of “fight or flight” and getting into your “rest and digest” nervous system when you know that sexual activity is about to begin.
In other words, you’re nervous. Understandably so! You’re on a hot date – maybe it went well, maybe it hasn’t gone so well, but either way, you’ve had PE in the past or have prematurely ejaculated recently, and now you’re alone with this woman.
What happens in your body? Stress! Your heart is beating fast, your palms are sweaty, your stomach muscles feel tight…. Right? You’re nervous! You’re in fight or flight mode.
This fight or flight mode is sometimes what causes PE to happen in the first place. Because your body feels like there’s going to be a tiger jumping out and eating your guts at any given moment, your body wants to FINISH sex immediately.
Tonight, there’s no tiger. You’re just nervous about disappointing this woman.
This means we have to train our bodies that it’s safe! There’s no tiger, you’re not going to get your guts eaten at any given moment.
The best way to relax? Through deep, slow breathing.
Practice before your date, and then before getting randy with your woman, tuck away to the bathroom to practice this breathing technique:
Close your eyes. Take a deep breath through your nose and release it out your mouth. Do this a couple times.
In your next breath, breathe slowly to the count of four. Exhale to the count of four. Do this a couple of times, and don’t forget to breathe in fully, so your diaphragm and lungs are completely filled.
On your next breath in, I want you to hold the breath and THEN count to four. Exhale, and repeat.
This breath causes you to move slowly. Holding your breath allows you to get more oxygen from each deep inhale, and when you exhale all the way out, you give your body the best chance to get a deep, oxygenating inhale.
Perform this exercise and take a moment to recognize how your body changes during these breaths – what’s different in your body? Do you feel more relaxed? Do you feel more calm? Do you feel less like you’re going to get jumped by a pack of angry mammoths at any moment?
Taking these breaths will steady you, and remind your body that it can take its time.
3. Say to her these magic words: “I just want you to know that I’m a little nervous.”
This is the elephant in the room! When you say this, not only are you creating a little bit of vulnerability and you’re willing to be intimate with her (because you’re willing to admit something that’s very private and personal… which women LOVE) but when we speak the thing we are afraid of and when we make it KNOWN, we are no longer under pressure to make it look like it’s not happening.
For example, I speak out in public a lot. I used to get REALLY nervous. When I would get up there and grab the microphone, I used to say “Wow, I’m really nervous.” When I say that, not only does every person in the audience empathize with me, but it cuts the tension. I no longer have to pretend that I’m not nervous and not confident about public speaking.
Saying it out loud releases it. You’ll immediately feel ready to rock. Cat’s out of the bag, let’s do it.
These three steps are the secret to instant stamina increase. THIS is how you get there. This is how you make a difference in one day.
This is all you need to last longer and have more stamina tonight.
My Free Guide to Lasting Longer in Bed By Tonight
If you like this advice, you’re going to LOVE my free guide to lasting longer in bed. Go ahead and download it. It’s totally free. You can start implementing the advice in there today to last longer in bed tomorrow.
If you want to gain unshakable confidence, foster a better relationship with your body AND partner, and end premature ejaculation for good, Come When You Want is my step-by-step guide to lasting longer in bed and achieving ejaculatory control. It delivers many of the same tools I use in one on one coaching but in a video format you can access from your phone or computer. Check it out!