There are very few phrases in the English language that can have a profound and immediate effect on a woman’s ability to reach orgasm. 

What I’m about to share with you is perhaps THE most magical phrase you can utter to a woman, specifically during oral sex, to help her relax, let go, and cum like you have never seen her before.

The three magical words are: Take your time. 

Why are these words so powerful to utter to a woman during oral sex? 

The truth is, most women’s bodies take longer to reach orgasm than men’s. A man might have already “finished” by the time the woman is warmed up and ready to orgasm.

Gentlemen – women are aware of this. We KNOW it can take us a while to reach orgasm, and the majority of us are kind of sensitive about it. 

Just knowing how long it takes us to reach orgasm is one of the reasons we don’t reach orgasm. We’re so self-conscious about how long it takes that we can’t relax, and then we don’t let the orgasm happen, and then it’s a self-perpetuating cycle. 

The self-consciousness of oral sex 

Think about it. There are already so many factors that make her feel self-conscious about having your face in her crotch. Women are often concerned about the smell, that we didn’t get waxed recently enough, that we look funny or that our lips are too big or off color, etc.

We’re especially worried about how your neck is crooked and how you’re just trying to get her off so you can stop being a human pretzel. 

Even if you’re having the time of your life, we are so used to being in service to you AND worrying about you that we automatically assume you’re not enjoying yourself. It makes us uncomfortable. It makes us want to get it over with.

Which is a huge shame, because oral sex is the BEST way to get a woman ready for vaginal penetration.

Oral sex can be one of the most delightful, pleasurable things that a man can do to a woman. 

I remember the very first time I let a guy go down on me. I was in high school – it was my first ever boyfriend, and I didn’t want him to go down on me for the LONGEST time because I was worried that I was going to smell funny or look weird down there. But the very second his tongue touched me down there, I remember thinking “Holy crap this is better than birthday cake.”

And it REMAINS better than birthday cake, damnit!! Especially if the man understands what I’m about to say.

How to Make Her See Stars of Joy & Pleasure During Oral Sex 

Look — she can sense when you’re uncomfortable. She knows when you’re in a hurry. If you’re treating oral sex as the prelude to vaginal sex and you’re trying to get it over with, she’s going to pick up on that and she’ll want you to get it over with or not do it at all.

But if you go with this plan, you’re going to start penetrative sex too early and she’s not going to reach orgasm at ALL.

Want her to turn into putty in your hands? Want her to get SUPER wet, hot, and ready?

When you’re about to go down on a woman, take these steps: 

  • Make sure she’s in a comfortable position. She’s going to be in it for a while. 
  • Make sure you’re in a comfortable position, where you can hang out for a while. Make sure your neck or arms or back isn’t going to end up hurting. Set yourself up for success, and communicate that to her nonverbally by getting comfortable. 
  • Tell her “Take your time. I’m going to be down here for a while. I want you to just relax. I’m not in any rush.” 

If you can say that with your words and communicate that with your body language and tone, the most magical thing will happen. She will be able to let go, relax, and get ready for penetrative sex.

All of the preconceived notions that she has: that it takes her too long to come, that she’s smelly or hairy, or whatever – are going to fade away because YOU have done the most powerful, masculine, sexiest thing a man can do, which is take charge, set the tone, and give her permission to feel the maximum amount of pleasure.

Not sure how to give great oral sex?

Check out my She Comes Too Female Orgasm Masterclass. There is an entire section devoted to being amazing with your tongue. I also include my anatomical guide for triggering her two secret sex organs with your tongue that will help her get wetter, looser, and more relaxed so she can take you comfortably inside of her if you get to penetrative sex. 

If you follow these instructions, sex will feel better for both of you.

Bottom line: she wants you to be great at oral sex. She wants you to warm her up. She wants you to be patient, and she wants you to give her permission to feel as much pleasure as possible. In order to do that, you MUST communicate that you’re not in a rush, that you’re having fun, and that you want her to take her time.